all that is and all that isn't

A friend put me up on what has become one of the theme songs from this stage of my life, "Anthem" [feat. Eric Lumiere] by Filo & Peri. It's one of the songs where I find myself as engrossed with the lyrics and their personal meaning as I do the beauty of the music of the song. As I listen to the lyrics I think to myself that truer words have never been spoken...especially considering the song from the experiences of my life.

Lately I've been feeling the same
I've being losing hope, resisting the pain
It's cold outside, I wish it were clearer
Sometimes its just easier to turn around . . . than look in the mirror

Sometimes when I go to sleep
My life spins out in front of me
Like a hurricane, a bottle of wine
Sometimes its easier to let something else . . . control your life

This is an anthem for the girl that got away
This is an anthem for the war of yesterday
This is an anthem for the rebel of my youth
This is an anthem for the risk of loving you
. . . the risk of loving u
. . . the risk of loving u
. . . the risk of loving u . . .


This is an anthem for the girl that got away
This is an anthem for the war of yesterday
This is an anthem for the rebel of my youth
This is an anthem for the risk of loving you
. . . the risk of loving u
. . . the risk of loving u

Personally, more than one girl has gotten away...at least in the sense that I find myself with silly crushes in their truest and most hopeless sense. I can think of a small handful of pretty epic crushes...all of which I did absolutely nothing about [not to say that any action on my part have necessarily made any difference in the end result of nothing coming about].

So this is an anthem for all the girls that got away.

Beyond that simple lyric [one i'm sure many can relate to], the rest of the song rings tru. As any reader of my non-music blog can attest to, lately i often find myself tired and worn down...not myself and in some sense losing help and definitely trying to get away from any sense of unhappiness that sometimes looms. At times it truly is easier to just sit back and let something else take u along the ride of life...even if in the long run doing so will result in an unhealthy trip. At times it is difficult to resist letting something else guide u...and the knowledge that doing so will just take u a step [or more] back is all u can cling to in order to avoid doing so...that and a powerful song like this one.

*********

In contrast to "Anthem," another theme song of this time is Chris Brown's "Forever." In contrast to "Anthem," "Forever" is one of the songs that embodies all my hopeless romantic dreams and ideals...it's what I hope is to come for me in life.

It's u . . . and me
Movin' at the speed of light into eternity
Tonite is the nite
To join me in the middle of ecstasy
Feel the melody and the rhythm of the music around u(around u)

Ima take u there, Ima take u there
So don't be scared, I'm right here, ya ready?
We can go anywhere
Go anywhere
But first, it's your chance
Take my hand
Come with me

It's like I waited my whole life
For this one night
Its gon' be me, u, and the dancefloor
'Cause we only got one night
Double your pleasure
Double your fun
And dance forever ever ever
Forever ever ever
Forever ever ever
Forever (forever)
Ever ever ever
Forever ever ever
Forever ever ever
Forever on the dancefloor

Feels like were on another level
Feels like our loves intertwined
We can be two rebels
Breakin' the rules
Me and u
U and I
All u gotta do is watch me
Look what I can do with my feet, baby
Feel the beat inside
I'm drivin', u could take the front seat
I just need u to trust me
Girl girl girl
It's like now

Its like I waited my whole life
For this one night
Its gon' be me, u, and the dancefloor
'Cause we only got one night
Double your pleasure
Double your fun
And dance forever ever ever
Forever ever ever (ever)
Forever ever ever (ever)
Forever (forever)
Ever ever ever (ever)
Forever ever ever (ever)
Forever ever ever (ever)
Forever on the dancefloor

It's a long way down
We so high off the ground
Sendin' for an angel to bring me your heart
Girl where did u come from?
Got me so undone
Gazin' in your eyes got me sayin'
'What a beautiful lady
No ifs, ands, or maybes'
I'm releasin my heart
And it's feelin amazing
There's no one else that matters
U love me
And I won't let u fall girl
Let u fall girl (ahh ohh oh oh yeah)
Yeah, I wont let u fall
Let u fall
Let u fall
Yeah yeah

It's like
It's like I waited my whole life
For this one night
It's gon' be me, u, and the dancefloor
'Cause we only got one night
Double your pleasure
Double your fun
And dance forever ever ever
Forever ever ever
Forever ever ever
Forever
Ever ever ever
Forever ever ever
Forever ever ever
Forever on the dancefloor

Oh oh oh oh...
Forever, ever ever ever.

"Forever" speaks to the hopeless romantic, the guy in me who ends up with a crush and does nothing about it as much as "Anthem" does...yet it does so because it embodies what that hopeless romantic hopes for and it is what would be an ideal for me. It's what would happen in a world where I did actually do something about a crush...especially if the opportunity presented itself on a dancefloor. Because for me there's a silly belief that somehow dancing will play a role in the epic love I find in life.

I admit to being a hopeless romantic and a total fool for the idea that a truly special and amazing love exists out in the world...much like in some Hollywood movie or popular music [even music more generally]. It's all too easy to daydream about, yet so much harder to come across in life.

Yet what could be wrong with believing in love stories? The hope to find a special person to share your life with, to meet in some storybook worthy way, to interact with on a level in which u don't really interact with others is human. To find it makes u a lucky individual. The idea behind the love tale within "Forever" is one of finding that individual...one that u can get lost in forever with.

And so, while "Anthem" speaks to me as the song of what much of life is to me, "Forever" speaks to me as that which isn't my life but is my hope and dream.